Drum Roll.....

Eating people is wrong! But...

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

A cannibal ate his mother-in-law. She still didn't agree with him.

The cannibal wedding guest toasted the bride and groom.

Why do cannibals like Jehovah's Witnesses? Because they come with free delivery.

And Hannibal Lecter has upset his fiancee, because he keeps bringing up old girlfriends.

July 23, 1972 Famous Birthdays Department...

This could be The First Birthday Party.
Usually he ate with CoCo the cat at her bowl.
He was being nice today.
Happy Birthday Andrew.

Prince voted sexiest vegetarian ...

NEW YORK (AP) — Prince has been voted the "world's sexiest vegetarian" in PETA's annual online poll, the animal rights group announced Monday.

Prince, 47, shares the honor with Kristen Bell, the 25-year-old star of Veronica Mars, which is being carried over from UPN to the new CW Network this fall.

A strict vegan, Prince recently wrote in the liner notes of his latest album, 3121, about the ills behind wool production. He closed the disc with a quote from Mahatma Gandhi: "To my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being."

Bad News Department...

Sunday's Lesson

"When your heart is right, your mind and body will follow.
This means there is a certain definite order of procedure
for you to follow to make light what is now dark within.
When the heart is true, even in the smallest way, it begins
to tell your other features what to do and how to do it.
Not only that but when you have put the heart, the spirit
first, you've chosen that to be your supreme guide, it will
give you a new kind of feeling that you don't know now.
It will give you a new kind of emotion. It will give you an
arousal, and oh how badly you need to be aroused.
Now you need to be aroused. Wake up now."

How to Own Your Own Life (audio tape)
Vernon Howard's
SECRETS OF LIFE (R)

Thanks, I'll pass....

The AP reports that Chinese State TV has uncovered a "steamed bun" making operation in one Beijing neighborhood that uses pieces of cardboard collected from the street and softened with caustic soda as the main ingredient. From the AP:

The hidden camera follows the man, whose face is not shown, into a ramshackle building where steamers are filled with the fluffy white buns, traditionally stuffed with minced pork.

The surroundings are filthy, with water puddles and piles of old furniture and cardboard on the ground.

"What's in the recipe?" the reporter asks. "Six to four," the man says.

"You mean 60 percent cardboard? What is the other 40 percent?" asks the reporter. "Fatty meat," the man replies.

The bun maker and his assistants then give a demonstration on how the product is made.

Squares of cardboard picked from the ground are first soaked to a pulp in a plastic basin of caustic soda -- a chemical base commonly used in manufacturing paper and soap -- then chopped into tiny morsels with a cleaver. Fatty pork and powdered seasoning are stirred in.

Soon, steaming servings of the buns appear on the screen. The reporter takes a bite.

"This baozi filling is kind of tough. Not much taste," he says. "Can other people taste the difference?"

"Most people can't. It fools the average person," the maker says. "I don't eat them myself."

Wonder why.

More on Live Earth...

The live Earth concert had some minor electrical problems......

Horses Asses designed Solid Rocket Boosters

RAILROAD TRACKS ARE HOW WIDE APART? Does the statement, "We've always
done it like that" ring any bells?

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet,
8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.

Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in
England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines
were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and
that's the gauge they used.

Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the
tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building
wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if
they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on
some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the
spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and
England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts,
which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon
wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all
alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore, the United States
standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the
original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.
Bureaucracies live forever.

So, the next time you are handed a Specification/ Procedure/ Process
and wonder, "What horse's ass came up with it?" you may be exactly right.
Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate
the back ends of the rear ends of two warhorses. (Two horses' asses.)

Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two
big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These
are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at
their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have
preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by
train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the
factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains and the SRBs
had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the
railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as
wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the
world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand
years ago by the width of a horse's ass.

Happy Birthday USA!

The Gadsden Flag.

The Preamble

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.